For about the last month I hadn't had a single thought about killing myself, but all of a sudden over the last few days they've started again. Although this time they're different, this time it's more of a ' I'm going to kill myself ' opposed to the last time when it was more ' I want to kill myself '. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone other than me, but to be honest I don't even care if it does or not. I don't care about anything anymore.